Shinigami Of Our Lives
by xxmeigetsuxx
Summary: Title originally is from the soap opera, "Days of Our Lives". I do not own them, or Bleach, ect. Made when bored; Read about random incidents with Bleach characters. BTW The First chapter sucks so I recommend you just skip it and go to chapter 2. thanks :
1. Zaraki reads Harry Potter

**I do not own Harry Potter or Bleach or anything.**

Zaraki Kenpachi sat there, reading _Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince_. He turned the page and continued reading.

"Ken chan!" said Yachiru as she waltzed in the sliding door.

"What is it…?" Zaraki muttered, huddled over the book.

"What'cha reading?"

"Harry Potter. That idiot Ichigo got me hooked on them," he replied sighing. He refocused back on the words.

"What's happening?" she asked.

"….C-come back later…," he grumbled quietly.

"Ken cha-!"

"Go, now," he said. Surprised and a bit shocked she walked outside and went to go find another captain to annoy. He placed the book down and stared off into space. Slowly, Zaraki broke down crying. Not a huge crying, but the few-tears-falling-down-one's-cheek kind of crying. Dumbledore had just died; he slouched there, feeling distraught.

He stifled a shaky sigh and picked the book back up; he continued reading, faster than usual until he finished the book. He delicately closed the cover and wiped his face again; what an ending. But how bittersweet it all was.

"Ken chan….?" Yachiru called from the closed door.

"Come in," he said quietly.

"Are you okay…?" she asked, staring at him.

"Yes, I'll be fine….," he said. He stood up and walked over to her and gave her a hug.

"Ken chan…?"

"Yes…?" he asked. He straitened back up and stared back.

"Should I read those books?"

"Yes," he said nodding. "You should; they'll take you on one of the best adventures you've ever had."

"Okay….," she said. If _those books had made Ken chan cry, they must be really good_, she thought. And then both avid reader and friend walked out into the cool night sky.

**A/N: The moral of the story; read Harry Potter they are awesome books **_**and**_** Kenpachi approved! This was pointless 'drabble', I think that's what it's called, I just made this as a promo thing for anyone of my friends who doesn't read Harry Potter, ect.**


	2. The Mystery of Byakuya

**I do not own Bleach, ect. **

Byakuya had walked around all day with the most peculiar look; a small grin occasionally flickering on his face. Everyone in Soul Society was absolutely stunned; this was completely out of character. Renji sat down beside Rukia and Matsumoto and tried to figure out what had caused such a change.

"So," he asked, "any theories…?"

"Oh, a big word! Good job Renji kun!" said Matsumoto, clapping.

"Shut up…," he muttered.

"Well," said Rukia, placing a fingertip on her chin in thought, "he may have discovered an extra power in Senbonzakura…."

"Yeah right Rukia chan," said Renji, "He already kicks my ass with Senbonzakura already so I really doubt it."

"Okay then….," said Matsumoto, "maybe Ichigo kun gave him respect." All three fell silent.

"And I'm dying my hair pink Matsumoto," scoffed Rukia.

"Oh my Rukia chan! Pink! How lovely! Then you and Yachiru could be the pink twins!" Matsumoto said, excited. Rukia sat there, rigid as ever while Renji broke out laughing. "You could go on tour! Form a band! And then-!" Renji snickered at Matsumoto' s idea.

"Haha! Yeah! Then you and Yachiru-!"

"Stop," muttered Rukia, cold, silencing Renji and Matsumoto. "Don't even put me in such a childish category." She gave a death stare to each of them; they settled down.

"Well," said Renji, coughing. "Back on topic. Maybe Byakuya sama….."

"What?" asked Rukia.

"…Got _it. You know_," said Renji, whispering, "…_laid._" Then Matsumoto broke down laughing again and Rukia bristled.

"But from who….?!" said Matsumoto through tears.

"Dunno….," said Renji, thinking. "It wasn't either of you right?" The comment silenced Matsumoto immediately and Rukia glared deeply at him.

"No," they both said in unison. "How dare you even suggest that….?!"

"B-but-!"

"Don't even!" said Matsumoto, holding up her hand in refusal. "Just stop!" Rukia jumped up and whipped out her Zampaku-to, holding it directly in front of Renji's nose. Renji began to sweat immensely and tried to laugh it off.

"N-neh, let's not take such things seriously…!" he said trying to grin. Rukia lightly poked the tip of his nose; a small drop of blood came out. "Ouch! Hold on a sec there! Oi, that hurts!"

"Then why did you say it if you weren't serious?" questioned Rukia, her voice like stone. "He's my brother. Just why the hell….?!"

"Let's go," said Matsumoto, annoyed. "It's obvious he's just a pervert."

"B-but!" Renji protested. Nevertheless, Rukia placed her sword back on it's sheath and walked outside of the room with Matsumoto. Renji sighed; why did such things have to happen to _him_?

"Konichiwa Renji kun," muttered Byakuya. He went and sat down at the desk by the window. Renji stood up and closed the sliding door.

"Konichiwa taicho," Renji replied, still annoyed by the recent event. "Ano…Taicho….?"

"Yes Renji kun…?"

"I was wondering…why have you been so happy lately…?" he asked, ashamed and embarrassed he was even asking this.

"Well," said Byakuya thoughtfully, "I discovered a minor new power in my Zampaku-to last night and that idiot Ichigo referred to me with some respect when I had to visit the human world earlier today. Not to mention as I was walking down the hall just now, Yachiru accidentally spilled some pink paint on Rukia's hair which was quite humorous at the time." Renji stared in disbelief. This couldn't be true. It couldn't.

"Just out of curiosity," said Renji, "may I ask you one more thing?"

"Yes, what is it?" Renji gulped. But if Matsumoto and Rukia's guesses had been right in the end, his was too, right?

"D-….Did you get laid…?" Byakuya looked up at Renji with a cold stare.

"Out," said Byakuya pointing at the door.

"But!"

"Out!" he said once again. Renji sulked as he stood and left. He ended up not being able to visit the real world for a couple of days due to the question. All that Renji could think of was one thing: _Why does this kind of thing always happen to me?! _


	3. Zaraki buys and reads Harry Potter 7

I don't Bleach or Harry Potter or Walmart.

Zaraki stood in line in the crowded Wal-Mart. He only felt three things right now as he waited for midnight; humiliation, impatience, and excitement. Why you ask? I'll tell you why. It was the night that Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows came out. And so he had came here as soon as he could and here he was, in a line of over one hundred people, waiting for midnight to finally hold the precious book in his hands and complete the series.

"Tch," he muttered as these annoying pedestrians stared at his figure. They could get over it. It was he who helped save their lives everyday. Then, after he was staring into the distance at nothing in particular, it happened.

"It's midnight!" announced the speakers. "Come and get them!" At that moment people began squishing in the line, cramming themselves until they reached the stack of glorious novels. Kenpachi became annoyed very quickly with the unruly crowd and had to keep telling himself not to get out his wooden sword since the Wal-Mart employees refused to let him in with his real one. Then, finally he was reaching the stack of books. Suddenly, his feet were moving in the line and he was in front of them. He felt his body quiver. Then he quickly snatched one and took out some money. Finally, he thought to himself.

He finally reached the checkout cashier and rammed the money in her face. She quickly gave him a complementary bookmark embellished with Harry standing and asking a single question; would you be there in the end? Yes, I will Harry. I hope you kick the Dark Lord's ass, he thought to himself. She handed him the change and then he was gone. He quickly walked outside and then went to the back of Wal-Mart. Then he opened a Soul Society gate and left.

He walked inside his office and sprinted to his desk. He kicked his feet up and left the large lights on, ready to read.

"Oi, Kenpachi san….!" called Ikkaku from outside the door. "I wanna give you a summer fight!"

"Shut the hell up!" he called, annoyed.

"Fine then!" said Ikkaku. He walked away, passing Yachiru. She stopped at the door and called to him right as he was about to read the first word.

"Ken chan!" she called. "I just wanted to say you're awesome!"

"Umm ,okay," he said. "Run along now…."

"Okay Ken chan!" she said. She began singing as she walked down the hall. "Off to bed, off to bed, I am going off to bed!" Then Yumichika walked past her. "Where ya going?" she asked in her song voice.

"To see taicho…," he replied plainly.

"I wouldn't, not now anyways," she warned, still singing.

"Why's that?"

"I heard what he said to me and Ikkaku…"

"And?" Yumichika prompted.

"He hates being disturbed reading, trust me," she said.

"Really now?" Yachiru nodded in reply.

"He has enough mood swings to be a pregnant woman," she said and danced away. Yumichika immediately turned around and went to bed. He could wait until morning. Kenpachi san on mood swings with me around; I should think not.

A/N: I read it in a little over a day. I would have read it faster but I kept being disturbed…


	4. An Embarrassing Conversation

**I don't own Bleach or any computer programs, ect.**

Ichigo had logged into his instant messenger. The conversation online went like this:

SoulSocietyRep has logged on.

Chappyisawesome has logged on.

HowlZabimaru has logged on.

SoulSocietyRep: Hey you two…

Chappyisawesome: Konichiwa.

HowlZabimaru: So how have you been? And Rukia, where are you since you're probably not at Ichigo's?

Chappyisawesome: Alright. At the library, the place of peace and knowledge.

SoulSocietyRep: Don't even try explaining a place like that to him he won't have a clue.

HowlZabimaru: What did you say?!

SoulSocietyRep: I didn't stutter!

Chappyisawesome: Chill you two…

SoulSocietyRep: He started it!

HowlZabimaru: What the hell?!

SoulSocietyRep: You're just naturally a moron I suppose. :)

HowlZabimaru: WHAT?!

SoulSocietyRep: I wonder if you draw like Rukia….

Chappyisawesome: What was that?!

SoulSocietyRep: Nothing!

Chappyisawesome: Be nice you two jerks.

HowlZabimaru: Fine then. Ichigo, you are truly a pompous moron.

SoulSocietyRep: Nanao taught you that phrase, didn't she?

HowlZabimaru: SHUT UP!

SoulSocietyRep: Idiot.

Chappyisawesome: Let's pretend it's opposite day; that way you have to say nice things.

SoulSocietyRep: Fine.

HowlZabimaru: Whatever.

SoulSocietyRep: You're absolutely great.

HowlZabimaru: You too.

SoulSocietyRep: You're highly intelligent.

HowlZabimaru: And you're nice and caring.

Order and Senbonzakura has logged on.

SoulSocietyRep: I love you.

Order and Senbonzakura:…

SoulSocietyRep:…Shit.

Order and Senbonzakura has logged off.

HowlZabimaru: Lol, that was awesome.

HowlZabimaru has logged off.

Chappyisawesome: Touching. See you at home:

Chappyisawesome has logged off.

SoulSocietyRep has logged off.

"Damn!" Ichigo muttered, turning red. Embarrassment clouded Ichigo's face. _With my luck…argh!_ he thought. _Why me?!_

**A/N: I'll tell you why; because the author wanted you to experience some healthy embarrassment, that's why! Sorry Ichigo…you should go talk to Renji…**


	5. Spin the Sake Bottle! Part 1

**I do not own Bleach or Spin the Bottle or Naruto. **

Everyone sat in the circle in the crowded Soul Society meeting office, finishing playing spin the bottle. I mean _everyone_, even Ichigo and the gang. Well, except for the Arrancar and the Hollows, that lot. And Orihime; that's because she's kidnapped still. :(

Anyways! Quite, well every week or two everyone would just randomly meet and decide to play a game, such as Spin the Bottle, for the heck of it because what else are you supposed to do on those dreadful Saturday nights after _Naruto_'s over?! So, yes, everyone was either sitting or standing, and a few of them were eager and like, "Hell yeah!" while others just sat there, wondering why in the name of crap they were even there in the first place. Regardless, the game was ending and there were only going to be three spins left out of the twelve that were always done. The rules of the game were that you had to go in the closet for 5 minutes until time was up; a violation meant that you would either be given more paperwork or be banned from the real world for two days. But that was nothing; the captain's punishment came from their very _loving subordinates_ so they decided for the better and went in the closet each time. So no one complained and much rather went in the little closet with whoever they got than risk a punishment.

"Spin time!" sang Yachiru, sitting Indian style. "Monkey chan's turn! Monkey chan's turn!"

"That's _Renji_!" Renji growled annoyed. He grudgingly got up and picked up the empty sake bottle. He sat down in the center of the large circle-oval as everyone stared and then he spun. And damn did that bottle take its frikin' time. It spun and spun like the wheel on Wheel of Fortune and seemed like it was screaming the words "Perpetual eternity!" at Renji as it turned, laughing at him with its cocky, whistling glass. Finally it began to slow and Rukia felt a heat wave as it came towards her. Then, suddenly as Renji was about to ask Rukia to the closet, it spun one more, unpredicted time and landed on the person. "No…..no…!" Renji muttered, hoarse with shock. "No…!"

Yes Renji. Oh yes. It had landed on….Soi Fong.

She stood gracefully, her wavy locks in the air behind her as she walked to the closet door, showing no emotion at all. She finally showed a sign of feeling as she angrily opened the door and walked inside. Renji stood up and Yachiru began patting the floor like a drummer.

"It's your funeral march Monkey chan!" she said giggling. Renji stopped himself from saying something that would end up getting him beat up by Zaraki and walked in the closet. Matsumoto got up and walked to the door. She looked at them as they both stood there, not even breathing.

"Well, five minutes starts now!" she said waving. "Have fun you two!" Then she quickly closed the door and darkness consumed them both.

They both stood there in the silence. "How awkward…," Soi Fong said at last.

"…Ahh, yeah…" said Renji, scratching behind his head. They both stood there for another minute or so, just breathing, no words. How nerve-wracking!

"So….," said Renji. He moved closer to her and felt her icy aura but tried to disregard it. He slowly touched her arm. It was so cold…he held her hand. But that didn't last long at all. Sorry.

"HOW DARE YOU?!" she shrieked. She jumped up, using a small hint of shun po ("flash step") and kicked him in his manhood.

"OW!" screamed Renji, feeling tears in his eyes.

"Oh my gosh! What the hell's going on in there?!" said Yumichika wide eyed.

"Fuck….," said Shunsui.

"Taicho!" said Nanao.

"What? I call them as I see 'em."

"Only my leader Yourichi can even _dare _to hold my hand so don't even try! I HATE YOU GO DIE YOU PERVERT!" she screamed. Then she jumped up again and kicked him in the cheek.

"OW! QUIT!" he yelled.

"Five minutes is up so put your clothes back on!" said Matsumoto.

"That was the fastest five minutes ever!" said Hinamori.

"And the most entertaining…," said Kira.

Matsumoto opened the closet door and Renji fell out along with Soi Fong as she attempted to puch him until Matsumoto grabbed her wrist.

"Don't stop me!" she said.

"Oh I will, now go sit down," Matsumoto said smiling gently. Soi Fong pouted and straightened herself , then walked away, going to sit next to her vice captain as everyone stared. Matsumoto stood Renji up and pushed him away to go sit next to Rukia.

"Wow Renji," she said.

"Ow. My face…," he complained sadly. It slowly swelled until it was a mix between purple, red, and blue.

"I wanna touch it!" said Yachiru.

"Quit," muttered Renji, petting his cheek.

"Would you do it again?" Matsumoto asked, the question that was always asked after a closet session was done.

"I'd rather die," he said stony faced.

"And good riddance!" shouted Soi Fong, fury and fire in her tones.

"It's good to know I'm loved," said Renji sarcastically as Matsumoto lifted up the tiny, alcohol bottle and placed it in the center.

"Good to know," Matsumoto said, giving him a smile.

**A/N: I'll update the next chapter when I get up to 15 reviews. Your support makes me happy and I thank you, but I want to get a few more people to read it and tell me their opinion in a review. No flames please!! THANK YOU again. Anyways, it's so fun to write these and get some laughs. You have no idea how hilarious it is! Well, actually you might. XP Thanks! Until 15 reviews…:xxmeigetsuxx.**


	6. Spin the Sake Bottle! Part 2 point 1

**I do not own Bleach. Thank you guys for the reviews! You're great! Here's part 6, like I promised. **

"Okay!" said Matsumoto. "Byakuya tiacho's next, since we're following with subordinate and captain."

"Mm," said Byakuya in his throat. He stood and walked to the bottle, picking it up. Finally he said, "I do not wish to spin." A few of them gasped; it was Byakuya's first time playing this and he was the only one in Soul Society history to refuse to spin.

"Are you sure?" Matsumoto asked.

"Yes," Byakuya said, firm.

"Alright then. Renji, please come to the front," said Matsumoto. Renji rose and walked to go and stand next to his captain. "Okay Renji," said Matsumoto. "You already know the rules, but you get to pick something for Byakuya to do. You will not be punished whatsoever on it by anyone, so feel free to choose."

"Ah….Okay…," said Renji, nervous.

"Well," said Matsumoto, "What'll it be?"

"He….ano….he….ummm," said Renji. He thought for a moment.

"Come on Renji," muttered Byakuya. "Let's get this over with."

"Y-yes, okay, umm,….oh, he'll have to….wait, no…," said Renji, feeling the tension in the room.

"What?" asked Matsumoto gently.

"…Taicho," Renji said, turning to his captain, "You need to…umm…"

"Come on, and make sure whatever it is it's quick," Byakuya said.

"So I can't fight you?" muttered Renji, wanting to finally prove to everyone he could.

"No," said Byakuya. "I will save that for a more appropriate and honorable time." He nodded with poise.

"Thank you taicho, I…"

"Come on Monkey chan! You take too long! Boo!" pouted Yachiru. "Boo, boo, boo!"

"Fine," said Renji, annoyed. He was about to have a heart-touching moment, but no, this girl had to go and ruin everything, _again. _"You pick then!" He threw his hands up in the air. "I give up."

"Hah, loser!" called Soi Fong in a happier mood. Renji went and sat down, annoyed beyond comprehension.

"Okays!" squealed Yachiru with joy. She hopped up and stood next to Byakuya (her size never being more evident than now). She looked up at him and waved vigorously, excited.

"Okay then," said Matsumoto, scratching her head. "Fine. You pick Yachiru."

"Okay!" she said with glee. Rukia felt a bit defensive. _What the hell was this child going to pick?!_ She wondered in dismay.

"Alright now everyone listen! I say Byaku can has to…!"

"His name is Kuchiki taicho or Nii sama," said Rukia sternly, working her way to earning some brownie points.

"Anyways! Byaku chan has to…..!"

**A/N: Hah a cliffhanger! I'm mean. Find out next chapter! (I'll try to post it soon.) **


	7. Spin the Sake Bottle! Part 2 point 2

**I do not own Bleach, Ipod, Houki Boshi which is by Younha and her people, or any campains for Hilary Clinton, ect. Lyrics are in italics and inclined on the left.**

"...You have to sing Houki Boshi!" squealed Yachiru. Byakuya's eyes widened just enough to hint he was a bit apalled. He held up his hand in front of his mouth and gave a cough.

"E-excuse me...?!" Rukia asked, shocked. Renji burst out laughing until Rukia smacked him on the head and he fell over, causing him to slip into a temporary unconciousness.

"Uh huh!" she said nodding. She clapped her hands madly.

"Is there an alternative...?" he finally uttered.

"It's either that or vote for Hilary Clinton in the coming elections!" shouted Kira, laughing. Byakuya stood there in silence and shook his head quickly for no.

"Then it's singing time!" said Yachiru. "Can anyone here play piano? Or do they have a recording of it?"

"I do," said Nanao, blushing. "I can play piano and I have a recording of it..."

"Really Nanao...?" said Shunsui, her captain, smurking.

"Shut up!" she muttered and hit him on the arm with her thick book.

"Ouch!"

"Go and get it book girl!" ordered Yachiru. Nanao quickly ran to the door and sprinted away to her quarters. "Get ready Byaku chan!" said Yachiru.

Nanao sprinted to her room and quickly opened her drawers and grabbed her iPod which had Houki Boshi on it. She ran back out and slammed the door, attempting to remember the fingerings for the song.

"Anyone got a portable keyboard?" asked Yachiru.

"I do," murmured Hitsugaya.

"I'll go get it taicho," said Matsumoto bowing and running out of the room.

"Aww, Hitsugaya kun has a keyboard, how cute. Can you even play...?" Ichigo teased as he sat next to Chad and Ishida. Hitsugaya stood up and walked over to Ichigo's face, directly in front of it. Ichigo felt his breath and tensed, giving a pathetic smile.

"For one thing boy," said Histugaya grimacing, "You call me Hitsugaya taicho or you don't talk to me at all. Which at a lot of times I would prefer."

"But!"

"No buts! Second, yes I have a keyboard and can play so shut the hell up about it. It's not your damn problem." Both were silent for a moment. "...Say yes Hitsugaya taicho...!" the steaming captain muttered.

"...Yes Hitsugaya..."

"Hitsugaya what?"

"...Hitsugaya taicho. Yes Hitsugaya taicho," Ichigo grumbled looking the fierce white hair in the eyes.

"That's right," he said. He turned back around and stormed away, back to the table he had been perched upon. Then Matsumoto and Nanao both heaved into the room, the door slamming open with their weight, both of them standing there, sweating.

"We tried to make it here as fast as we could!" explained Matsumoto.

"Like crap! You stole my book, now give it back!" whined Nanao.

"But it's fun teasing you!"

"Give it back!"

"C'mon!"

"Give it back! Give it back now!"

"Catch Shunsui taicho!" yelled Matsumoto and she flung it. Nanao's heart fell to her feet as it soared and the questionably drunk captain easily caught it.

"Ah ah ah Nanao!" he said.

"What do I have to do then...?!" she yelled.

"Spin the bottle next!" he cackled sweety and winked.

"Oh very well," she said blushing and straightening her glasses.

"Good Nanao," he said and tossed it to her. Bad choice Shunsui. It hit her in the head and she fell over.

"Ow!"

"Nanao!" said Shunsui surprised. He ran over to her and helped her up. She clutched the book in one arm as he lifted her with her other arm.

"You idiot!" she said and wacked him with her book again.

"Ow!"

"Okay everyone!" said Yachiru, bringing their memories back to the issue at hand. "I've hooked up the microphone so bring over the iPod so we can hook it into the speakers and the keyboard too." Both Nanao and Matsumoto walked over to her and offered her the items. Yachiru quicklu stuck the little plugs in the sockets and everything was set as she placed the items on the side table. Then she shoved her handwritten lyrics in Byakuya's face. Ho oddly accepted them from the little girl and scanned over them. _I think I've heard this before, maybe Rukia...,_ he thought, suddenly remembering how the lyrics went.

"Okay Byaku!" Yachiru announced as she went to sit down. Grudgingly he picked up the microphone and examined it briefly in his hands. Nanao got up and walk over to the keyboard on the table, setting her book down and getting ready to start her iPod. "Shut up everyone!" Yachiru shouted over the murmurs circling around the room. Quickly they died down and all eyes were either on Byakuya, Yachiru, or Nanao. "Go ahead," Yachiru comanded. Before Byakuya even had time to clear his throat, let alone prepare himself for his immenent doom, Nanao pressed play and began tapping the keys.

The beautiful piano and electric guitar mixed in the air and then Byakuya had to start singing.

_Yozora o miage hitori houkiboshi o mita no...  
Isshun de hajikete wa kiete shimatta kedo...  
Anata no koto omou to mune ga itaku naru no...  
Ima sugu aitai yo dakedo sora wa tobenai kara..._

Rukia coughed abrupty as she heard his deep voice pierce the air and tried to stiffle her laugh. He looked so embarrassed and...yeah Rukia you're not dreaming, he's blushing!

_...Ame ga futte iyada to boyaiteita toki ni...  
Anata ga itta koto ima demo oboeteru...  
Ame no ato no yozora wa kirei ni hoshi ga deru...  
Sore o kangaeru to ame mo suki ni nareru yo ne to..._

Byakuya cracked on a couple notes and stared into space as he sang. How humiliating. How utterly humiliating. He would have rather spun that damn bottle and had to go in the closet with someone. It didn't matter. He wouldn't of even objected if he had gotten that Kurosaki moron...if he had known what was coming for him.

_Moshi atashi ga houkiboshi ni nareta naraba...  
Afureru hikari furasu yo itsumo...  
Kanashii toki yozora miru anata ga...  
Egao ni naru youni motto kagayakitai..._

_Musical rests...musical rests...breathe Byakuya, breathe...come on, you can do this. Or can you? Mwahahah!_ thought Yachiru happily. _This is payback for the time you wouldn't play ponies with me!_

_Anata wa itsumo hitori nanika to tatakatteru...  
Soba ni iru koto shika atashi ni wa dekinai kedo..._

_Moshi atashi ga houkiboshi ni nareta naraba...  
Sora kakenuke tonde iku kitto...  
Kanarazu todoku ko no isshun no hikari de...  
Anata no IMA terashi sora o megurou...  
Atashi ga houkiboshi ni nareta naraba...  
Kitto soba ni ite ageru, donna toki mo..._

Finally the song was done. Byakuya walked away from the center of the circle and Nanao stopped her iPod, fingers tired.

"Would you do it again...?" asked Matsumoto, trying not to laugh as she asked the standard question.

"Never," he muttered and disappeared through the door to his room. _Never-fucking-again. _

"Nii sama!" called Rukia but she was too late. She held a straight face.

"It's okay Rukia chan, you can smile," said Matsumoto. She laughed and Rukia finally gave a long awaited smirk.

"W-What happened?" asked Renji, who had just now woken up from his coma-ish state. "I dreamt that we were all riding on pianos...and comets...and...kareoke...and chicken..."

"I like chicken!" pitched in Yachiru. Rukia finally realized that she'd actually knocked him out cold.

"Sorry about that Renji...," she muttered, sad. "I accidentally knocked you out..." He looked at her a bit annoyed but then smiled.

"No worries."

"So I can go get Byakuya and tell him to take out his fury on you?" asked Ichigo, a few rows away.

"Damn. Ichigo you moron, no."

"Nanao's turn!" sang Shunsui from the back. "Go on up there my little Nanao!"

"Shut up taicho."

"Oi, I'm you're taicho...!" he gurgled through the small sake he had just drank.

"Correction; you're my drunken taicho," she said annoyed, straigtening her glasses.

"Come on up," urged Matsumoto. Nanao trudgingly walked forward to the center of this huge cicle-oval thing, pocketing her iPod.

Meanwhile Byakuya turned off the lights and went to go sit in his bed and think as the moonlight shone down on his cream bedspread. Oh the embarrassment. No, never again. His journal entry he had made only just now consisted of these few words:

Spin the bottle. Stupid thing. Entire idea irrelevant. Who will keep order around here except for me? I wonder sometimes. As I was leaving I could tell Shunsui was as drunk as a dog. That's what's to be expected. Note to self: avoid Zaraki's subordinant. Payback's a bitch.

**A/N: The end, I hope it was okay. I think my computer's working alright now so I'll be able to update but I'll let you know if this has to go on hold or something (which hopefully it won't). Thanks for reading. Reviews make me happy. :D**

**Edit! By the way, on the whole Hilary Clinton thing, I actually like her, she was just the first name to come to mind. I like her and McCain. Go Mccain! :D**


	8. Spin the Sake Bottle! Part 3

**I do not own Bleach. **

"Hah hah you have to go!" cackled Renji at Nanao. Nanao turned to him as she stood in the middle and stared.

"Shut up," she said through her teeth.

"C-Calm down!" said Renji quickly. She turned back around to face Matsumoto.

"You just never have any luck with women do you Renji?" whispered Rukia.

"Shut up," he said embarrassed and turned away.

"Okay Nanao chan," said Matsumoto. "Here's the bottle." She gave it to her, Nanao holding it delicately in her fingertips. "Go ahead and set it down and give it a spin."

"I….," she said. "I…don't think that I want to," she said quickly.

"You know that the punishment is more paperwork right?" she asked. Nanao nodded calmly, adjusting her glasses. That was not a problem for her. "Okay then," said Matsumoto. She cleared her throat. "I hereby say, in front of her taicho Shunsui…"

"Cheater…!" called Shunsui. He smiled as she glared at him. "We all know that my little Nanao loves things like this. I say I get to choose her alternative."

"Okay then," said Matsumoto. "You've got a fair point. I'll take a vote. All for Nanao's punishment to be chosen by her taicho Shunsui?" she asked. Many hands shot up, sleeves flying in the air. "All for her doing paperwork or getting suspended from going to the real world as a punishment?" she offered. Not a soul even raised their finger but stared at either Matsumoto or Nanao. "Well, there's your vote. Shunsui wins," Matsumoto concluded.

"But! But!" stuttered Nanao in protest.

"Decision's made!" laughed Shunsui. "I'm picking!"

"Shit," muttered Nanao, her face sinking into her free hand as a mask away from the staring eyes. What would he choose?! She wondered frantically.

"Go ahead Shunsui taicho," said Matsumoto.

"Okay," he said, grinning from ear to ear. "I say that…."

"That what?" asked Nanao from behind her hand. "That what?!"

"You have to go drinking with me!" he sang. "And soon!" He tilted from side to side in drunken glee. Nanao's eyes widened.

"No," she said. "No."

"Oh, that's right hun, you've never really drank before!" said Shunsui, remembering. "Oh, this'll be great!"

"No," said Nanao, mortified and frozen to her very spot.

"All for Nanao doing the standard punishment?" asked Matsumoto. Everyone was dead silent. "And all for Nanao getting drunk with her taicho?" Everyone's hands shot up, even old man Yamamoto smiled and raised his hand as Nanao stared in disbelief.

"Then it's settled," Matsumoto concluded, smirking. "You're going to get drunk."

"No!" said Nanao. She fell to her knees, staring up at the sky. "Noooooooooo!"

"Hah, yes," said Shunsui.

"Okay everyone!" said Matsumoto. "This session's over! We'll meet back up for this sometime!" she said. "See ya!" She patted Nanao's shoulder and walked out the back door. "Tell me how it goes!" she called to Shunsui as she left.

"Sure!" called Shunsui. Everyone began to leave, smiling or just walking away to leave this unbelievable event they had taken place in. Shunsui walked over to Nanao as the last Shinigami began to leave to when it was only them. He heaved her up as she straightened herself out and glared at him. "You can trust me getting you drunk," he said smiling that smile of his as he opened the back door to go home.

"I wonder…," she muttered and they both walked outside into the starry sky.

**A/N: Does anyone still read this story I wonder? I don't know; if not too bad for me I suppose…Oh well. XP**


	9. Don't Make Fun of his Hair Noodles

**I do not own Bleach.**

Ichigo and Byakuya both logged onto thier instant messanger. The conversation went like this...

SoulSocietyRep has logged on.

OrderandSenbonzakura has logged on.

OrderandSenbonzakura: Hello boy.

SoulSocietyRep: I just wanted to tell you…

OrderandSenbonzakura: What now…?!

SoulSocietyRep: I do NOT love you.

OrderandSenbonzakura: …..Good then.

SoulSocietyRep: Yeah. Um…bye.

OrderandSenbonzakura:….

SoulSocietyRep has logged off.

ChappyisAwesome has logged on.

ChappyisAwesome: Konichiwa Nii sama. -bows-

OrderandSenbonzakura: Domo.

ChappyisAwesome: May I ask how you are?

OrderandSenbonzakura: I am fine.

ChappyisAwesome: That is good.

OrderandSenbonzakura: So….what are you doing currently….?

ChappyisAwesome: Talking to you over at Kurosaki kun's house.

OrderandSenbonzakura: I see.

ChappyisAwesome: I also drew some…

OrderandSenbonzakura: Good then.

ChappyisAwesome: I think I'm getting better.

OrderandSenbonzakura: Okay.

ChappyisAwesome: I even drew Chappy…

OrderandSenbonzakura: Hmph…

ChappyisAwesome: Have I offended you in some way Nii sama…?!

OrderandSenbonzakura: No, it is not that…

ChappyisAwesome: Oh, good. -sigh-

OrderandSenbonzakura: I'm just trying to concentrate…

ChappyisAwesome: Oh.

OrderandSenbonzakura: I need to log off.

ChappyisAwesome: Okay. Yes Nii sama. But may I ask what you are doing…?

OrderandSenbonzakura: Very well then. -shuffles- I am trying to put my hair pieces in.

SoulSocietyRep has logged on.

SoulSocietyRep: LOL!! Byakuya has to put in his HAIR NOOOODLES!!

OrderandSenbonzakura:…

ChappyisAwesome: Ichigo you idiot!

OrderandSenbonzakura:…Sleep with one eye open from now on boy.

OrderandSenbonzakura has logged off.

ChappyisAwesome: You idiot!

SoulSocietyRep:…

ChappyisAwesome: Do you realize what you've done?!

SoulSocietyRep:….

SoulSocietyRep: .

ChappyisAwesome: You're dead Ichigo.

SoulSocietyRep:…T-T

ChappyisAwesome: Whatever.

SoulSocietyRep:…

ChappyisAwesome: Serves you right. Payback. XPP

SoulSocietyRep: Thanks Rukia. You make me feel so good.

ChappyisAwesome: Good luck to you! :D

ChappyisAwesome has logged off.

SoulSocietyRep has logged off.

Ichigo felt a wave of embarrassment pass through him as he trudged upstairs to Rukia. "Damn you hair noodles!" he yelled.

**A/N: Mwhahahahah.**


	10. Ichigo Vs The Flamer Part 1

**I do not own Bleach, Naruto, , ect. **

Ichigo quickly logged on the computer and went to fanfiction.

"Stupid thing," he muttered under his breath as he logged in and entered the security code. He submitted the identification and was sent to his account page. Immediately he went to his stats and noticed on his story about Naruto fighting Sasuke he had gotten a new review. "Oh," he grumbled. He clicked on it and he eventually made it to the reviews page. He began to read.

"I just wanted to say that your writing style leaves something to be desired. I am ashamed to have read such a fanfiction. Sasuke lacked better vocabulary and you have over ten typos. Delete this immediately. You write nothing but sht sometimes."

"I think I just got flamed….," Ichigo muttered in disbelief. "I just got flamed…." He rubbed his temples. Come on man; a simple story about Sasuke having a battle with Naruto; _come on_!

Ichigo went and visited the user's account, their name being "FighterWithoutAName." He looked at their creations. There was a Naruto story about a battle between Gaara and Rock Lee. There was also a story for Naruto about Pein sending Deidara on a mission or something. The rest was Harry Potter. Harry Potter reviews, Harry Potter one shots, Harry Potter everything.

"Tch," Ichigo muttered. He ignored it. Just a flamer. It didn't really matter. He'd worry about it later. No big deal. And so Ichigo exited the page and opened up a Word document and began typing a sequel to his story.

After he worked hard typing it up he submitterd it and lo and behold within thirty minutes…

"Why didn't you delete this? Get some talent. And the thing is, you know who I am, so if you ever figure out who this is, come and confront me like a man."

Ichigo stared in shock. The flamer again…and it was apparently someone he knew?! Who could it be?! Rukia?! Renji?! Wait, did Renji even have an account here?! Hitsugaya?! Byakuya?! Who, who, who?! Ichigo took a deep breath. _Don't get so worked up_, he told himself. He would sort this out tomorrow. And confront whoever this idiot was.

He walked over and flopped on his bed after shutting off the lights. "I still like your stories," muttered Kon for support as he went to bed on Ichigo's chair.

"Eh, whatever, I'll deal with it later," Ichigo said shaking it off.

"Night," muttered Kon and closed his soft lion eyes.

"You better watch out," muttered Ichigo, half asleep.

"Why?" asked Kon.

"Because I might take out my fury on you and kick you out," he said annoyed and fell asleep.

Kon did not slip into his world of dreams that night. He just sat there, hoping Ichigo wouldn't have a spaz and decide to take it out on him. It was bad enough Rukia was sleeping over at Matsumoto's; he didn't want to leave the comfort of Ichigo's magazines so soon…

**A/N: Bad Kon! Oh that's so typical. Okay, anyways, yeah, Ichigo has a flamer. I'm sorry Ichigo; there are mean people out there. Or in this case, someone who's mad at you for some reason or another. Just want to make this clear; I do NOT support flaming or anything of the sort (it's terrible and the people who do it should be ashamed). I just needed a quick plot line and this is what I got. So yeah. Don't worry though-Ichigo WILL have his revenge…and soon. Mwahahahahahahahah, Ichigo and I can't wait. Free fanfiction brownie from me if you review. Two brownies if you review and if you guess who his flamer is (if it isn't obvious). My question to you is, though, with or with out peanuts?**


	11. Ichigo Vs The Flamer Part 2

**I don't own Naruto, Bleach, or Harry Potter.**

Ichigo finished his sandwich, feeling grubby. He had been avoiding his computer the whole morning. But he knew he'd have to figure out who it was. And now.

He finished eating and ran upstairs, booting up his computer. Afterwards he eventually went through the whole rigaboroll of getting on until he reached his page.

He went and decided to read one of the fanfictions his flamer had made. The writing wasn't really that good either in his opinion. Please. Okay, some occasional dialogue and good phrasing, but still.

"SwordWithoutaName…," he muttered. Who could that be? Who could that be…

He picked up his cell phone and called up Shinji. He couldn't remember his sword having a name. That made sense…that did make sense! He waited as the phone buzzed until Shinji picked up.

"What do you want strawberry…?!" Shinji drawled on the line.

"Do you…..do you have a fanfiction….?"

"A what…?"

"An account on a place called fanfiction…."

"Who do you think I am there carrot top…?!"

"What?!"

"Do you think I sound like someone to have on of those….whatchmacallit's? Whatever you said's? "

"No…"

"And you interrupted me from sleeping for this….!?"

"…"

"Bye Kurosaki," he said and the phone line clunked. Ichigo sighed. M'kay, so that was a no. Annoyed he went to the flamer's page and looked at the email. The user was….wait a sec, yes, the username for the email was indeed _Kenpachi1._

"You have got to be kidding me," he said. "You have got to be kidding me." But that made sense. He had seen Kenpachi walking around with the seventh Harry Potter book in hand. "SwordWithoutaName" was obviously his since his soul sword had never spoken to him. Fanfictions for Harry Potter and Naruto….yes, it was all coinciding with one another. It made perfect sense! Kenpachi _**was **_the flamer! Ichigo quickly flipped open his phone and punched in the numbers, ramming it into his ear. "Come on…," he said in frustration.

"We are sorry, you are out of minutes, Ichigo Kurosaki. If you wish to purchase more minutes please….," but the phone was snapped shut.

"DAMN IT!" he yelled and fell on top of his bed. "The ONE time I actually NEED minutes and I DON'T have any….argh!" He punched the bed. "Stupid, n00by phone…screw it!"

He sighed in malice and fell asleep.

**A/N: Right so this chapter is really short but some things came up and I can't really stay on the computer as much. I will still make this story though! The updates might be a little slower than **_**that **_**day though, but I'll try to get at least one or two updates a week. Sorry! Please continue reading. Thank you! -**


	12. Ichigo Vs The Flamer Part 3

**I do not own Bleach, Naruto, or Harry Potter, ect. If you're lost when I used this term, **_**Bozu**_** , which is a term meaning "boy", in a derogatory way (if I can remember correctly), in Japanese. I was reluctant about starting to put in the small bits of Japanese I know (which isn't much in itself but still) but I am now so if you don't know what something means during the rest of the story look up here. ****Thanks. **

Okay; he had minutes now. Everything was taken care of. He'd already eaten dinner after his long and annoying sleep and now his phone had two hours worth of minutes stuffed into it. So all he had to do was call. Again he punched in Kenpachi's number and held the phone to his ear.

"Hello," Kenpachi's rough voice said.

"Hello…._SwordWithoutaName_," Ichigo countered in malice.

"Oh, so the little strawberry bozu figured it out eh? That I'm your very own, personal, and free flamer."

"Shut up," Ichigo growled. "All I care about is how we're going to settle this shit."

"Very well Kurosaki," Kenpachi coughed. "I'm up for anything you want to do."

"Lovely," Ichigo muttered.

"Ken chan! I wanna pick! Let Yachiru pick! Let Yachiru pick! Please!" Ichigo heard Yachiru squeal in the background.

"Fine," Kenpachi said. "Boy, we're gonna let her pick or she'll never shut up."

"Whatever," Ichigo said, repositioning the phone and putting it on his bedspread on speaker. He sat down in his chair and put his feet up.

"Okay you guys! You gotta do whatever I say!" Yachiru giggled.

"Yeah, we heard," Ichigo said. Then he had a hilarious flashback...Byakuya singing at Spin the Bottle….Ichigo chuckled a little. Then he remembered; this little girl had picked that. Yachiru. He sat bolt up and picked up the phone frantically. "Never mind! I'll pick!" he said last minute but was cut off ever so easily by the pink haired vice captain's voice.

"You two have to cosplay!" she said clapping her hands.

"Say wha?!" Kenpachi choked out. Ichigo sat there in shock.

"Yup! Someone from Harry Potter! You have to look like them the WHOLE day!"

"Whole day…?" Ichigo asked, shocked.

"Uh huh! The whooole day!"

"You've got to be pulling my leg," Ichigo said. Cosplay?! The both of them?! Harry Potter?!

"No I'm not Ichigo kun I'm all the way in Soul Society!" Yachiru said in her defense.

"That's not what I meant!"

"Couldn't we do something more…," but Kenpachi was cut off.

"Nope! This Friday! The whole day! Come on Ken chan let's see if we can go and look for some robes! And a wand!" The phone was snapped shut while Ichigo heard her running and tugging Kenpachi. Ichigo turned around immediately when he heard his door open. It was Rukia. She stood there staring at him. Then she finally grinned.

"Hah," she said, pointing at him.

"You know?"

"Speaker phone honey," she said sweetly.

"Shut up," he whispered, still in a state of confusion.

"This'll be great. Hah!" she said and smiled again.

"Just don't suggest anything for them," he muttered, his face sinking into his palms.

"Oh! You gave me a great idea! You should have a Harry Potter trivia game too to settle this! And then all of us can vote on your costumes and add that to your trivia! Hah! Oh this'll be so fun! I'm going to call Renji!"

"NO!" Ichigo yelled but she had bolted downstairs. He heard her dialing. "Argh!" he said and punched his pillow. Real smooth Ichigo. His hand retracted as he hit something hard. He slowly lifted up his pillow in horror. There lay his cell phone. The one that is, or was I should say chocked full of minutes. In wiry pieces. "Why?! Ah!" he yelled. "I blame this all on _Naruto_!"

Meanwhile, Masashi Kishimoto gave a sneeze. "Something wrong?" his friend asked as he sat next to his desk.

"No…I guess someone must be talking about my characters again…" He gave another violent sneeze. "And apparently it's not in a good way," he added smiling.

**A/N: Wow, that's totally impossible to sneeze every time someone talks about Naruto. Eh, whatever, just so happens it was his rival's characters being pissed at Naruto. Review. (I got some new ideas so after this expect some funnier ones. XPP)**


	13. The Walmart Adventure Part 1 of 2

**I do not own Bleach, Harry Potter, ect.**

"Get in the cart."

"No…!"

"I know this place like the back of my hand. You'll only slow me down."

"I said no damnit!"

"I don't care what you did or didn't say!"

"NO!"

"Get in the cart. Now," Rukia said through her teeth, steaming in the summer sun in the parking lot, while staring at the red head.

"Fine," Ichigo said and scrambled into the buggy. He turned around as she placed her hands on the handles and straightened her purse. "I just wanted you to know I hate you." At that Rukia pushed the buggy into the road and sent Ichigo on a speed race against no one. He zoomed into the middle of the street type area and cowered in fear as a car came charging towards him.

"Watch out what the hell you're doing!" called out the driver. She got out of the small car and flaunted her hair while walking towards him. "Just what the…Hey it's Ichigo!" cackled Hiyori at seeing him in the buggy. She ran up to him while taking off her sandal.

"Oi! Ichigo!" called Shinji who was now out of the car, running behind Hiyori. "Good to see y…!" but he was whacked on the head by Hiyori's sandal before he even finished his sentence. "Ow! Would you quit that?!"

"Never!" she said smiling and whacked Ichigo on the head too.

"Ouch!" Ichigo said and winced in pain.

"That's what you get!" she said and put back on her sandal. "Now, just why are you here?"

"We're shopping for cosplay clothes," he muttered while rubbing the back of his head.

"For what…?!" asked Hiyori.

"I have to go against Kenpachi in a cosplay contest for Harry Potter. And thanks to Rukia, trivia on the subject too," he muttered.

"What the...?!" said Hiyori while pushing the cart over to the side.

"Yeah," he said as she moved the cart.

"I heard you say 'we' Ichigo! Who's with you?! Did you finally get yourself a girlfriend?" asked Shinji, grinning. The grin didn't last long though, before both Hiyori and Ichigo smacked him.

"No, I'm here to help this hopeless case," Rukia said smoothly as she walked across the way to them.

"Oh, I see…," said Shinji, rubbing his cheek.

"We'll help you," said Hiyori, walking to her car. "We just came to pick up some chips. Wait for us to park at the entrance."

"Okay," said Rukia and went to the buggy, containing Ichigo. She began to push them to the entrance of Walmart as both Shinji and Hiyori got in their car.

"I hate them," Ichigo muttered.

"Your friends," said Rukia shrugging and continued walking to the entrance to go await the arrival of the soldiers from the masked army.

**A/N: VizardsMasked Army. I needed another phrase for them, so that's what I got. I had a huge writer's unblock (I was having one if you couldn't tell what with my patheticish chapters) and now I know what to write **_**and**_** what shall happen after this arc. Bwahahahah. Ichigo getting smacked inside a Walmart buggy; priceless.**


	14. The Walmart Adventure Part 2 of 2

**I don't own Bleach, ect. Hai is Japanese for 'yes'.**

"Catch!" called Rukia as she tossed some black fabric into the air. It came soaring, faster, faster, until….

"Ah!" said Ichigo in dismay as it fell on his face and in his mouth. He scrambled and picked it up from the ground. The wooly taste remained in his mouth as he placed it on his little pile that he had made on his knees since he was taking up any space that existed within the buggy.

"Idiot, I can catch better than that," Shinji and Hiyori both said. They both stared at each other, freaked out by the unison phrase.

"That was weird…," Ichigo said as he quickly threw the fabric over his shoulder.

"Be careful with that!" snapped Rukia as she looked through the other fabrics surrounding her on the shelves.

"Hai hai…," Ichigo said, waving his hand.

"Let's go get some of that 'One day' hair dye," said Rukia finally. "You'll need black hair to be Harry Potter."

"Excuse me…?!" asked Ichigo. But before he could continue his protest she began pushing the buggy away, Shinji and Hiyori in step on the way to the isle containing the needed colour. They reached the place and put the buggy on the side, Ichigo having a look of utter annoyance, pissed off-ness, and humiliation on his face. The best way I can put it is the way Yourichi would look if Mayuri asked her out.

"Ah, here's some," Rukia said spotting it, picking up the little box. "Here Ichigo," she said and tossed him it. He caught it and placed it in the pile, stony faced.

"Look on the bright side!" Shinji said laughing.

"And what would that be…?!" Ichigo asked.

"You could look kinda like Byakuya now!" Shinji cackled.

"Shut up bastard vizard brat!" Ichigo steamed.

"What did you say substitute Shinigami?!" Shinji asked.

"Shut the hell up the both of you! Just because I had to leave my katana outside _doesn't_ mean I can't beat the shit out of the both of you! _At once!"_ Hiyori screeched.

"Stop!" Rukia said as she turned the buggy around. "We've got humans around us so we need to be careful about what we say!"

"But it's not like we're going to go and shout that we're-!" Ichigo began.

"Oi, look, Shinigami freak! Check out the substitute S-!" but Rukia slapped her hand out and covered Shinji's mouth while Hiyori whacked him with her sandal.

"Your demonstrations are not needed. I think we all understand the point I was trying to make," Rukia growled and let his mouth go. He stared at her and turned away, cowering inside. He could see how she was related to Byakuya, feeling her rage burn into his skull through his beanie.

"Moron," Hiyori muttered as she put her sandal back on. Rukia grabbed some hair gel and placed it on top of Ichigo's little pile.

"I think that's all of it," Rukia said. "So let's go home."

"Alright," said Shinji.

"Finally," Ichigo said.

"Shut up the both of you idiots," Hiyori said and walked alongside Rukia as they went to the check out line. They eventually made it through the crowd and the line that seemed to take forever while getting many looks from nearby customers.

"Mommy that guy's weird!" said a little boy pointing directly at Hiyori.

"Honey that's a girl!"

"She's still weird!"

"Don't," Shinji said holding her back, Hiyori having a look of a wet cat on her face. "They're just humans, they don't know any better…"

"The guy with the weird hair and teeth and all that's creepy too!" the little boy whined.

"Stop it the both of you!" said Rukia grabbing both Hiyori and Shinji's shirt collars. "Just stop it!" The little boy began to cry out of the scene of a woman holding back two pissed off friends and ran away. "Now look what you've done!" Rukia scolded.

"We didn't _do_ anything!" said Shinji with menace.

"Then why did he start crying?!"

"Maybe he got the flu!"

"The flu?!"

"Yeah! Maybe he got all sick right as you held us back from lecturing that brat and-!"

"Since when do you lecture?!" asked Ichigo.

"Since now!"

"Um, Miss, if you're checking out could you please come forward. You're attracting a lot of attention," said the woman at the register timidly.

"O-oh, yes, coming," Rukia said calmly while glancing at all the pedestrians, trying to smile while walking everyone over to the counter. Eventually everything was scanned and placed on top of Ichigo in an even bigger stack.

"That'll be 66.34 please," said the cashier.

"All right," Rukia said. She turned to Ichigo, Hiyori, and Shinji. "All right; I've got 25, but I need you guys to cough up some money."

"You only brought 25 to Walmart when you purposely knew we were going to get a lot of items?!"

"Shut up Ichigo," Rukia said. "I know you've got 20 bucks so give me it."

"Stalker!" Ichigo said.

"Just give it to me," Rukia said sighing.

"Oh fine," Ichigo said and struggled for a few moments, finally retrieving the wadded up bill from his pocket from under the pile.

"Okay…we just need 21 dollars and 34 cents now. Um…Shinji? Hiyori…?"

"Here," Hiyori said , taking out her wallet and giving Rukia 22 dollars.

"Wow Hiyori…you're being really nice," Ichigo said in awe.

"Yeah, all I'm saying now is that you'd better win," Hiyori snapped back quietly. Rukia took the money and gave it to the cashier.

"Here's your change," she said handing Rukia a 66 cents. Rukia gave it to Hiyori and she pocketed it.

"They're still here!" whined the little boy from earlier.

"Let's get out of here!" Rukia said to Ichigo, grabbing all three of them and running gout of the store, through all the people until she reached the car. She caught her breath and opened the trunk, throwing in all the bags.

"Didn't you tell me not to long ago to be careful?" Ichigo asked Rukia.

"Shuddap," she said, closing the trunk. Ichigo got out of the small buggy slowly and stretched.

"Thanks a lot now I can't feel my legs."

"Damn! We forgot the glasses!" Rukia exclaimed.

"No worries," said Hiyori. "I'll go and get Lisa's and meet you over at the house." Rukia sighed in relief.

"Okay, thank you so much."

"Could you take Shinji with you?" she asked.

"Eh, sure," Rukia said, ignoring Ichigo's frantic head shaking for 'No!'

"Thanks. See you there!" Hiyori said and turned around, sprinting away to the car.

"Come on you two," Rukia said to them and opened her car. Ichigo hobbled inside the back and Shinji followed. Rukia turned it on and slowly backed out and then began the drive back.

"Hey Ichi-Oh my gosh! Stop the car!" Shinji shouted.

"What's wrong?!" asked Rukia, but still drove.

"I forgot my chips!"

"…"

Ichigo whacked Shinji on the side of his head. "Moron."

**A/N: Review. :DD**


	15. Hiyori has a Smart Moment?

**I do not own Bleach or any other mangas mentioned in here. Hentai means pervert. Hana Yori Dango is a very good romance series; the title means "Boys over Flowers". Doujinshi is fan drawn manga that is printed and sold at annual doujinshi get-togethers.**

"Come on Lisa! I've already explained! We need them! I need them!"

"No," Lisa said, cordial. She straightened her glasses and continued reading her manga. She coughed a bit and flipped the page.

"Oi Lisa it's just for tomorrow!"

"I said no Hiyori."

"…Fine," Hiyori said, scowling. That was how it was going to be eh? She ran outside of Lisa's apartment to her car and grabbed her purse. She had come prepared. She whipped around and ran back inside. The door burst open and Hiyori stood there, clutching her goods.

"And just what do you think you're doing?" Lisa asked, not even looking up.

"Here's the manga you wanted the other day. I ended up getting them," Hiyori said. That made Lisa wake up. She looked up and stared at Hiyori, astonished at her words.

"Which ones?"

"The last volume of Gravitation and a doujinshi," she replied.

Lisa waited for a moment. "…Fine, I'll let you borrow them. Just give me my manga," she said quietly, slipping off her glasses.

"Fair enough," Hiyori said and they both quickly traded. "I got that doujinshi about that Sasuke guy and Naruto…" Hiyori added handing the books over from her purse and placing Lisa's glasses safely inside.

"You mean…You got the Sasunaru one…that my favoutite doujinshi author just made…," Lisa whispered.

"Yeah, consider it something for all the times you helped out when we trained," Hiyori drawled. "And for anything that might come in the future."

"Thanks," Lisa said, rubbing her glasses-less eyes.

"Yeah just don't go asking me for anything. And you're cooking the next barbie', got it?"

"Yeah sure…"

"And you also have to say I'm the best Vizard," Hiyori added in the midst of her ego. She grabbed her recorder and turned it on to begin. "Go on."

"…You've got to be kidding me," Lisa said in disbelief.

"Nope, say it," Hiyori said.

"You're so childish."

"Excuses excuses," Hiyori sang. "Now say it."

"Oh fine, considering I can't read my manga in peace if I don't. You're the best Vizard."

"Who's the best?"

"You are Hiyori now leave me alone," Lisa said, motioning her to leave.

"That's right. I'm the best," she said and shut the recorder off, ramming it in her purse. She turned around and ran out of the house the door slamming behind her. Lisa grabbed her manga and walked out to her small porch to sit and read in the twilight. By now Hiyori was on her way to Ichigo's so there would be no further disruptions. Lisa smiled; finally, she got to see the manga she had wanted so badly. Wait a minute, wait…What the…?

Lisa gasped as she realized. "…Damn you Hiyori!" she yelled into the air. A few of the remaining birds flew away. "This is torture! You give me my favourite manga and I can't even read it without my damn glasses…!"

Meanwhile Hiyori's Vizard senses were tingling. "Hah, payback for the time you didn't let me borrow the first volume of Hana Yori Dango you hentai," Hiyori said and continued driving to Ichigo's with a smile on her face.

**A/N: She's mean! Maybe Lisa has some contacts….**_**Maybe**_** being the key word here….**


	16. And Friday Night Arrived

**I do not own Bleach or Harry Potter.**

It was the night. The night of terror.

Ichigo sat there, behind the stage, behind the large curtain, dividing himslef from the crowd in the eagar Soul Society. Talking filled the audience, since tonight had had a lot of publicity thanks to Matsumoto. His hair look like a mixture of gooky liquid, his orange locks hard to hide in the dye. Retsu had been kind enough to make his robes, but they were still awkward in themselves to wear. And he hadn't gotten to leave the house to get hear before Rukia had tackled him to the ground, chissling a lightening bolt onto his forehead. Now it really did feel like he had a scar. Not to mention that he couldn't see for shit in _real _glasses, courtesy of Hiyori and Lisa (who had to go and steal Ishida's but thank gosh that Quincy boy liked Lisa minorly enough to let her borrow them and also owned contacts. How they know eachother? Another story.)

"Oi, you know I left that comment just to annoy you because I knew that username was you," came agruff voice.

"What the...?!" Ichigo spun around and was greeted by a large bulk behind a dresser and boxes on top, so he could only guess who was there. "Kenpachi...?"

"Yeah."

"You're serious. Just to piss me of?"

"Yeah. What am I supposed to do after I finish the seventh book?"

"Argh Kenpachi..."

"Don't say that you moron, I didn't think you would actually take it this far."

"Eh..."

"Yeah, I know part of this is my fault but it's just as much your fault as mine Kurosaki."

"...Damn..."

"Understand now? That we're basically screwed over."

"Yeah."

"All right. Just wanted to make this clear. You okay now?"

Knowing this was the closest he came to apologizing, he nodded, even though he knew Kenpachi couldn't see him. "Sure."

"Good."

"Oi, you two guess what?" sang Yachiru. "It's time...!" Ichigo felt himself bristle and the air tense. She ran backstage and Ichigo had to stop himslef from laughing as Kenpachi probably did the same. Kenpachi had attempted Ron; his robes were too small and his hair was orange, but the now somewhat natural look of his spike shown out so his hair was half flat and half pointy, not to mention his colouring of it resembled mac and cheese. Yachiru laughed madly and grabbed them by the hands and took them to the stage.

"You know, it probably would have been easier if Ichigo chose Ron and Kenpachi Harry," Yachiru giggled as she led them.

"Why didn't we think of that?!" they both grumbled as they trudged to the small set up stage with Yachiru.

**A/N: Why didn't you think about that...?? (Lol I don't even ship LisaXIshida but they actually might make a good couple.)**


	17. Meanwhile in Karin Land

**I do not own Bleach or Harry Potter, any dance ideas, ect. Warning: Contains a perverted phrase (for those of you who don't feel comfortable reading it which is okay).**

"Bastard finals," Karin muttered. "Bastard, bastard finals." She sat there in the hot schoolroom finishing her last test, and it was on Arts and Humanities. Okay, for one why have a test on the subject? For two, who cares about the stupid tango?!

She began tapping her pencil madly as she blew her hair locks away from her face, only to have them land on her forehead again. This was so annoying. Argh! Come on! Why make a final about this stupid crap so hard?!

She went back down to the other questions and read.

"**What is the origin of the ****Antikrystos?"**

"I don't know!" Karin muttered furious. Her father was an idiot enough but if she screwed this last tedious final up she'd be haunted about it forever. Believe me, for-ever. She could just picture her dad…

"Hah!" he would laugh, pointing at her. "What's the origin of the Antikrystos?!" He would cackle and she would throw the eggs she was preparing for lunch at him and hit him in the face. He would still bug her though. Like she needed another reason for her father to spaz.

"Time to guess," she said finally. "Now the trick is to go with C…" She scribbled in the 'C' circle and felt the apprehension leave. "Hah, this'll be easy…"

Wrong. The wording got even worse. She felt heat consume her cheeks.

"Ugh!" she said. "_What does pianissimo mean? What was Shakespeare's purpose-_wait isn't that Language Arts?" She shook her head. "Bastard test!" she whispered. "You know what, I just don't care anymore, I'm going to guess…" She picked up her pencil and filled in the answers with C or D.

And here came the fill-in answers.

"**What is the importance of the ****Gavotte****in our society?"**

"You've got to be kidding me." She guessed and filled in her answer.

"_It has no importance, it has the origin in France, so it's main impact would be there."_

She guessed on a few more. Then she had her second to last fill-in question.

"**Name a popular dance in Japan currently and tell three components of dance that it uses**."

"Oh damn…well….they did say what was popular _now_…" She began to write.

"_The most popular dance I can think of is the Hare Hare Yukai. You know, the one that goes, 'Nazo nazo, mitaini…' ? From the anime 'The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya'. You use different levels because you go up and down in the song, you use different amounts of tempo because some motions have long durations or short ones, and the space varies because sometimes the space around your arms is wide, while at other times it is short."_

Now there was just the final question.

"**Harry Potter is a very popular series. Please name the author of this well-known book."**

No way. Ichigo and his weird obsession came in handy after all.

"Ja! Schließlich ein leichter! Hölle ja!" Karin said.

"What the?! …Er, quiet down Kurosaki chan," the teacher said, a little bewildered at the statement.

Karin was still a little bewildered herself at speaking it out loud, nonetheless in German.

She scrambled for her pencil and scratched the answer down.

"_J. K. Rowling. Mwhahahahah_."

You can't expect her not to put her glee and sarcasm into her answer!

"I'm outta here!" Karin said happily, jumping up.

"Quiet down!" the teacher said again. Karin ran out the door to go join the guys in the soccer game that was taking place after you were finished.

"Hah, whatever losers! Suck it!!" she ran out the room shouting, "Adieu!" Her teacher sat there in astonishment.

"Perverted little child, but there's nothing I can really do…" the teacher muttered in frustration and embarrassment.

"…Suck what?" one of the children finally said.

"Just forget it Timmy…"

"But I wanna know!"

Later that week she got her results back. They were a perfect one-hundred.

…And you see, the sad thing is is that this is all completely true.

**A/N: Reviews. And the pervertedness...blame it on me hanging out too much with my friends. You hear it. A lot. I guess that Karin hears it a lot from Ichigo. XP Who knew Karin could speak French? And German?**


	18. Trivia and an End

**I do not own Bleach or Harry Potter, ect.**

"Let the trivia begin!" Matsumoto announced happily into the microphone on stage, still laughing the sight before her of "Harry" and "Ron". Ichigo stood there with his eyes closed, wishing it was over. It had been a pain enough to come out on stage in front of all of them, but now this. Oh boy…

"Alright then!" she said. She ran to each of them, laughing hysterically of course, and handed them each a piece of paper and a pen. "Write down each of your answers on here. Then we'll score them. There will be ten questions. Ready?"

Ichigo didn't even have time to answer because the crowded room full of Soul Society members shouted "Yes!"

"Okay then, here we go! Question 1: From book 7, what momentous event led the Order of the Phoenix to taking Harry away?"

Ichigo knew this. He scribbled away, "_Harry's 17__th__ birthday"._

"From book 7, on the night when six members of the Order had to hide Harry to get him out of Private Drive, they used Polyjuice potion to change into him. Who did not survive this night?"

Ichigo sighed. That was a depressing question. "_Mad Eye Moody._"

"What did the Golden Snitch say when Harry opened it?"

"_I open at the close_."

"What form did Kingsley Shacklebolt's patronous take when he sent it out to go and tell the ministry of the death of Rufus Scrimijour?"

"_Umm…I think it was a lynx._"

"Name the good luck potion."

"_Felix Felicis_."

"In book six who was the muggle minister's junior minister?"

"_Herbert Chorely._"

"What is Spinner's end?"

"_The place where Serverus Snape lived. It's a street_."

"Who should you contact if you know someone who is acting extremely strangely?"

"_The Magical Law Enforcement Squad_."

"What is Dumbledore's favourite flavour of jam?"

"_Raspberry_. _Obvious. Jeez…_ "

"And finally, what is the name of Tonk's child?"

"_They call him Teddy, I think it's Theodore_."

"And that's all of them! I'll collect them and score them real quick!" Matsumoto said and swiped the paper's from both of them. In a few moments she came back out. "Well, wanna know who won?" she asked the crowd.

"Hell yes!"

"That's what we came out here for!"

"Quiet down you two morons," Matsumoto said to Ichigo and Zaraki's comments.

"Alright. It was…Ichigo!!" Zaraki cackled and Ichigo sat there. He had won and settled this whole debate of the flaming and humiliation.

"Yeah!" Ichigo said happily.

"Sure glad that money didn't go to waste!" Rukia and Hiyori said.

"Now pay up, all of you!" shouted Hiyori. Many mumbles circled the crowd and a large line began to form in front of the girl.

"Sure glad I get my glasses back," said Lisa, straightening her bright blue one's that were being lent to her by Ishida. She went to go get in line.

"Sure glad this is all over!" Kenpachi grumbled, standing up to go backstage.

Ichigo stood up and followed. "Thanks," Ichigo said quietly to Kenpachi as they both made their way to get in normal clothes. "I know you probably could've won."

"Don't mention it," Kenpachi said, waving it off. "I didn't really care."

"Yeah," Ichigo said. They both continued walking, the heat from the stage fading. They could hear everyone leaving.

"But you see, I screwed with those answers so bad, it was great," he said chuckling.

"Well, what did you put?"

Then Nanao walked up to Zaraki and stared at him, straightening her glasses. Ichigo looked at her as if to ask why she were here. "I'm a fan too and scored the actual quizzes," she said, cross. She returned to Zaraki. "I don't appreciate your cursing nor your chat speak. 'Wtfbbqroflmwahaha' does not count as an answer. A simple, 'I don't know' would do."

"You mean 'idk'?"

"Stop it!" she hissed furiously and stomped away.

"C u l8t3r!" he called. Ichigo laughed lightly and they parted.

"See you Zaraki san," Ichigo said gruffly.

"Yeah, just don't expect me to be this nice to you again. I still wanna cut 'cha with my sword instead of the other way around," he replied.

"Yeah, yeah. Well, see you," Ichigo said. Then, on impulse he shouted out, "S.P.E.W. forever!" He walked away in silence, his spur of the moment call getting the better of him feeding his now large embarrassment.

"…Damn straight! S.P.E.W. forever…!" Zaraki finally replied.

And that is the end of Ichigo and his flamer. Apologies were made and there was a lot of cursing and laughter in the midst of Harry Potter. But now you know…

…That Ichigo looks terrible with black hair dye. And Zaraki loves chatspeak.

**A/N: Finally I'm done! I'm so happy! Now I can go back to writing quick scenes. Thanks to everyone for the encouragement! I would have never finished this little story arc without it! -xxmeigetsuxx**


	19. To the Readers

To my wonderful readers of this random little story:

I wanted to thank you for reading this story, it was very fun to write. And also wanted to tell ya that highschool sucks lol. XD

And also, if you wanted to message me about the story, as long as it isn't anything rude, it's fine with me. I like getting little messages like, "I liked it" or "Maybe you should write this here..."

By the way I also have a Phoenix Wright forum goin' if you wanna join. Between my responsibilities I am able to make time for that.

So thank you for (checks stats)...a grand total so far of 2,849 views! Thanks a ton!

Sincerely,

xxmeigetsuxx


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